get to know me!

Welcome to my blog! My name is Lauren Elizabeth and every now and then I get some wild inspiration to share some of my really deep (and sometimes not so deep) thoughts with y'all. I started this blog back when I was a freshman in high school when I had the aspiration to make it big time as a blogger like Naomi Davis or Amber Fillerup. Maybe one day I'll share more than just one blog post every 6 months (doubtful).
I am 23 years old and I am trying to figure out life like most twenty-somethings are. I graduated from college almost a year ago now (woah). I am currently working as a front desk assistant during the week and I help at Best Bet Events during wedding season on the weekends. I went to school to be an event planner, but I've realized I am most passionate about decorating/design and creating beautiful things. I have moved from a small town to a big(ger) city. *just a small town girl, living in a lonely world* Just kidding, I'm not lonely. My boyfriend's name is Blake and he's keeps me company. We met (sort of) at a church lock-in. We've been dating almost a year now (← LOL if you saw the link). But let's get to the good stuff. The important stuff. Okay, this stuff isn't important at all but...

a few random things about myself:

• Joanna Gaines is my style icon.
• I know all of the words to Where is the Love by the Black Eyed Peas.
• I used to live in Hawaii when I was little. It's probably the coolest thing about myself.
• My dream vacation spot is either Greece or Italy.
• I can really appreciate a nice, soft blanket.
• I am the second oldest of four children. 
• I've seen A Cinderella Story more times than I can count on my fingers.
• Dog person. 'Nuf said.
• My dream job is to be a nail polish namer or ice cream flavor tester if it paid the bills. Just kidding I would really love to be an interior designer.
• I always sit with my feet up in the seat.
• I'm super obsessed with scents. Candles, perfume, fabric softener. It's all good.

Thanks for reading!
xoxo LS

What do you have?

Hey guys! I just wanted to share something that I've had on my heart the past couple days. I went over to my grandma's house the other day to take her some flowers that were left over from an event I worked this past weekend and we got to talking about life and the highs and the lows that accompany it. I shared some happy and exciting things with her and we laughed, but we also shed a few tears as we opened our hearts to one another. If no one else is behind me in life, I know my grandma is always going to be one of my biggest fans. She encourages me, prays for me, and loves me...and for this I am so thankful. We talked for about an hour and before I left she shared a devotional she had read that really resonated with me. 

Jesus said, "I have told my people they can have what they say, but my people are saying what they have."

You know that feeling when it seems like a preacher is reading your mail? Like when they are just nailing everything you're feeling even better than you could explain it yourself? This was one of those moments. It was kind of funny because after my grandma read that she looked at me and we definitely shared a "woah" moment. 

The past couple of years I have seen friends and loved ones stuggle with anxiety, fear, worry, depression, constant stress...and have even struggled with some of those things myself. To be very transparent, there was a point in my life that even at 21 years old there were nights where I would have to sleep in my mom's bed because I was too scared to sleep alone. The panicking feeling was so overwhelming. I would pace the hallways in my dorm at school and have to call my mom at 2 a.m. and have her talk and pray with me just so I could calm down enough to go to sleep.

Feeling anxious, fearing the future, worrying, etc. I have been there. I still struggle. Every day it takes a conscious effort to surrender my fears and worries to the Lord. It's not always easy. And I understand that it is way easier said than done to overcome some of these things. In my humanness, sometimes if I'm not worrying about something, I feel like I'm forgetting to do something. But I read somewhere once a quote that said something like... "When we worry we are basically telling God that we don't think his plan is good enough for our lives." Y'all, I don't know about you, but I am for sure guilty of this. That quote wrecked me.

In Matthew 7:7 it says, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened."

I am a firm believer that our words are powerful. 

Matthew 15:11 says, "What goes into someone's mouth does not defile them, but what comes out of their mouth, that is what defiles them."

Proverbs 18:21 says, "The tongue has the power of life and death..."

The Bible also tells us in Psalm 141:3 to pray for God to set a guard over our mouth and keep watch over the door of our lips.

Jesus has told us that we can have what we ask for when we pray, but instead we speak out, "I'm depressed," "I have terrible anxiety," or "I am so stressed." Like most students at some point in their school career, I would say things like "I'm so going to fail this test." But then I would remember that my words have power, and as silly as it sounds I would quickly say something like, "I'm going to do great on this test!" (...even if I knew it was a stretch haha I don't know guys, it seemed to help me out.)

***I know there are people who would love to just snap their fingers and make their anxiety and depression go away, and unfortunately I have seen first hand that it is not that easy. But I do believe in the power of prayer, and for those people I will continue to pray.***

I guess I have shared all of this to challenge you to change your mindset or at least to make you aware and remind you to speak out positive and uplifting words over your life or your friends and loved ones lives. Give it a try and see how the rest of your week changes. I'm going to try to do better myself! Much love.

xoxo LS

There's no question about that.

It's an exciting Thursday night in apartment 5 y'all. I ate a burrito earlier that was arguably bigger than my face, watched an episode of Chicago P.D., and I have only moved off of the couch once to go to the bathroom the past 2 and half hours. No shame in my game. Ok, maybe a little shame. But everyone deserves a lazy night and tonight is mine. The week is almost over, and I am so excited to say that I just ordered my cap, gown, and tassel for graduation (actually kinda salty about how expensive it was to only wear it once). There are only 37 days until I'm done with college!!! That light at the end of the tunnel that everyone keeps talking about... well I think I can finally see it. Just barely. It's still crowded by a few lingering group projects, papers, and final exams.

Ok, honesty hour. Basically I'm really bad at being the consistent writer that I really wish I was, but I have had this journal the past couple years that I'll write thoughts in randomly and the other night I decided to look through it. This is what I found and what I want to share with you guys:

"My mind is constantly racing. I have always felt the need to figure out why I feel a certain way or why someone isn't a part of my life any longer or why it's so easy to fall back into the same pit of sin. I'm the type of person that has to have reasons and explanations for why things happen the way that they do in life. But the reality of it is that you're not always provided with answers to your questions. Some things will never actually be explained and reasons will never be given. In those instances you must trust God blindly that He knows what is best for your life, and that's the only explanation you need."

I wish I could say that this is a quote that I made up myself, but I think it was on pinterest or something. Although when I came across it I instantly thought wow, if this isn't me to a T. I don't know if anyone else is an "I need answers" person, but I know I am. I like reasons in paragraph form, with 12-point Times New Roman font, double spaced... Just kidding. But in all honesty, sometimes I secretly feel like a little kid in my mind because I constantly ask why, why, why?  Why did this person have to go through this terrible tragedy? Why does someone I love have to go through so much hurt and pain? Why do bad things happen to really, really good, kind people? Why are there precious little babies living without moms and dads? Here's the thing... Ultimately any time we feel the urge to ask God why He has let something happen to you or someone you love and care about, it's really a chance for us to fully surrender any doubt or questions we have and put our trust wholly in Him that He knows what He is doing. It's really a simple thought to grasp a hold of. God is trying to help us to realize that we don't have to bear all the "why's" in life. But instead we have this constant reassurance in Isaiah 55:9 that His ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. It's something I am trying to reconfigure my brain into thinking after years of asking why. And honestly I'm not sure if it's something I'll ever be able to master in my humanness. We just have to get real and admit that sometimes (a lot of times actually) we don’t understand life, and we’ll probably never grasp all the reasons bad things happen, but what we do know for certain is that God is in control, He loves us more than we could ever understand, and He truly wants the best for His children... There's no question about that.

xoxo LS

Something extra to show you God loves you

I have to start this post by saying that I love my church so much. Last Sunday everyone had a little card waiting on their pew that said something extra to show you God loves you and at the end of the service we were all challenged to do a random act of kindness and hand out our cards that we prayed over in a way that would make someone's day a little bit brighter. I thought about what I was going to do the whole drive back to campus Sunday night, and I was ready for the week to start so I could hand out my card.

My week's schedule looked a little something like this: homework due on Tuesday, a Microbiology test on Wednesday, a nutrition test on Thursday, a group debate Thursday night, a quiz due Thursday night, and a Microbiology lab on Friday. Talk about stressed out. So as soon as I made it back to my apartment Sunday night, the little random act of kindness card was honestly the last thing on my mind. Monday morning rolled around and I woke up with a bit of a sore throat, but I shrugged it off because I had zero time for that nonsense with the busy week that was ahead of me. I made it through Monday. Success. Tuesday was full of studying. Even though it was only the second day of the week I was totally worn out. By Wednesday afternoon I had noticed that my throat was (not to gross you out) looking anything but normal. But I had prior commitments to this group project so I took some ibuprofen and headed to a friend's house to meet up with our debate group to finish our project. I was grouchy and my sore throat was worse. All I wanted to do was sleep until the week was over with.

I think my group caught on to the fact that I was not feeling so hot and they suggested that I take a little field trip to the walk-in clinic to get checked out. So I did. After getting my throat swabbed and gagging (like I do every time they make me do that stupid test) the results came back that I did in fact have strep throat. Perfect. I was exhausted, in the midst of a group project, still had to study for a test, and I was feeling pretty crummy to say the least. Fast forward to the next day. I went and took my nutrition exam (and avoided breathing my germs on anyone) and later that night did the group debate (which we Aced by the way!). Needless to say, I had never been so happy for a week to be over with...possibly ever.

Friday greeted me with a hug. I had felt like a giant elephant was lifted off of my shoulders after the week that I had had. I was so thankful and so ready to pack up my dirty laundry (because doing laundry at home is free-woo!) and went to pick up a PSL before heading home for the weekend. I was meeting my mom in Mattoon to run a few errands, so I picked up a coffee for her and a cakepop for my sister. As I waited in the drive-thru line I noticed the random act of kindness card that I was so excited about at the beginning of the week. I thought to myself Ok if someone pulls up behind me in line, I'll buy their coffee for them and give them the card. About a minute later a car pulled up behind me. But instead of there just being one person in the car, there were three people in the car. It was already going to cost a little bit more than my normal one latte because I was getting coffee for my mom and something for my sister. So I found myself thinking well maybe I'll just wait for another opportunity...unless, God, you really want me to pay for the whole car's order behind me. I battled back and forth in my head as I pulled up to the window. Sorry for your wait in line, your drinks and cake pop are on me!  I think my jaw actually dropped. I quickly accepted this as God's confirmation that I was supposed to pay for the car behind me. I quickly said well in that case, can I pay for the car behind me...oh and can you hand them this card too? The girl at the window smiled and kindly said yes. I drove away from Starbucks and my entire week that had been so stressful and full of tears and sickness was instantly turned around in those few seconds.

This random act of kindness was supposed to brighten someone else's day (which I really hope it did!) but it in turn completely brightened mine! How cool is God?! I really can't get over it. I hope this story can make you smile as big as it made me smile. Have a great weekend everyone, and if you haven't given out your card yet, I reeeally encourage you to do so. It may change your entire week. I know it changed mine!

xoxo LS


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When you're an (almost) college grad.

If you have ever been an (almost) college graduate like me, you'll probably be able to relate to this post. Lately people have been loving to ask me what my plans are after I graduate. And you would think that after how many times I have been asked I would have an actual answer, but I don't. I usually reply by saying, "It's going to be a surprise for both you and me!" This response is not meant to sound rude or standoffish because, trust me, if I knew what my future plans entailed, I would happily share them with you without hesitation. Instead, my response is just an attempt to make a serious question a little less scary. Honestly though, when does one find out what their next step is after they graduate from college? Too bad my diploma isn't going to give me a clue to where I am supposed to go next. That would be super helpful. (If anyone has an answer to this question and is keeping it to themself, please let me know, because time is not on my side and in a few months I will be entering into the next phase of my life. *cue scary music*)

I have done a whole lot of thinking about what I would want to wake up every day and do. I still don't know the answer to that...sorry. What I do know is that I am the kind of person who, like most people, has dreams. A few years ago I made a bucket list. It's pretty much a list of a bunch of silly little things like trying every flavor of Ben & Jerry's ice cream or learning how to surf. While I still want to accomplish most of the things on that list, I think it's in serious need of a revision. A brand new bucket list with bigger dreams and goals. One with adventures so crazy that they may never actually happen. One with dreams and goals so big that they will stretch me way outside of my comfort zone and make me grow as a person. I want to see beautiful sights that make my eyes well up with tears and leave me in awe of God's creations. I want experiences that I will tell my future kids about. I don't want to grow old and regret not living in the moment. I want to make a difference in someone's life. I want to bring happiness to whoever I can and show God's love to anyone and everyone. I want to travel to as many places as I can and meet people that I will never forget. I want to do big things. (So if anyone knows what job that is...hook a sista up!)

I've heard that if you try to plan out your own life you will probably under plan it. God always has something so much better planned for us than we could ever conjure up ourselves. Does anyone else find this to be so exciting?! I find so much comfort in knowing that if I surrender to God's will He will take care of me. As much as I think I have to worry about my future, I am so thankful I don't actually have to worry about it! I know Jeremiah 29:11 is such a commonly used verse, but reading it brings me so much peace when I start feeling like I have to have a specific 5-year plan ready for after I graduate. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." He knows and He cares. I have been loving the song Your Promises by Elevation Worship lately and the lyrics say,

"As I walk into the days to come
I will not forget what You have done
For You have supplied my every need
And Your presence is enough for me."

So to any other person who is in the same boat as I am and could afford to buy a new car if they had $1 for every time they were asked about their plans after graduation...(okay, I'm exaggerating)...but seriously, find your comfort in knowing that if you surrender to God's will you can rest in knowing that He has made you, He will carry you, He will sustain you, and He will rescue you. (Isaiah 46:4)

Oh and to answer the lingering question (in a serious way) of what my plans are for after I graduate... I am going to hold God's hand and follow Him wherever He leads me, and I'll be sure to let y'all know when I figure out what that next step is. :)

xoxo LS